It's Just a Matter of Time
by KuroSensei
Summary: He ignores me, doesn't return the affections he's finally earned from me, he treats me like the traitorous dirt every other soul in the village does, so in the end, it's just a matter of time before I break... NaruSasu/SasuNaru Sasuke POV Character Death


**Naruto belongs to Kishimoto Masashi-sensei, if I owned it, well... 9.9 Let's just say a lot more yaoi-tastic scenes would be involved, and Sakura would stop infatuating over Sasuke or Naruto because it's damned ANNOYING... she can keep puncihing Naru though, but I still hate her for killing Sasori! O**

**Spoiler warning, angsty, and yah Enjoy  
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**It's Just a Matter of Time**

"Naruto... I love you."

"Hn."

Sorrowful coal eyes watch his retreating back as he leaves this apartment, his apartment, our apartment. I let out a shaky sigh as I feel those unwanted emotions bubble inside me again – sadness, hopelessness, and the feeling of betrayal – as I slowly lower my form onto a seat at the counter, placing my head in my hands in defeat.

It always seems to be like this nowadays, and it feels like the roles have switched. He pays me no mind any more, like he doesn't care about me or anything. He flinches back when I touch him, he grunts and gives me monosyllabic answers when I tell I love him and he sleeps as far away from me as possible in our bed. It's painful, knowing the one person I ever let close to me is now pushing me away like this.

You could say my Uchiha pride is really taking a beating for this, but my Uchiha heart is taking it a lot harder than I want it to. It's draining, honestly.

I let out a deep sigh of pain as I stand and begin to clean up the dishes from our quiet breakfast. I've been giving him ramen recently, despite the fact I think it won't do him any good. Two months ago he would've been ecstatic, hugging and basically all over me if I allowed him to eat that disgusting food for breakfast, but now I get nothing but a 'hn'. Not even thanks... Sometimes I wonder if its even him, but his chakra signature's clear enough, I guess.

I pushed part of my raven bangs behind my left ear as I began to scrub at my plate, already having thrown his ramen cup in the garbage, as my mind kept working, grieving, and all around praying my little dobe wasn't someone else's when I didn't even know about it. If he was cheating, the pain would kill me, but I wouldn't be surprised, who'd want to spend their life with a traitor...

If it weren't for the constant watch (I was sentenced to forever be on house arrest, no exceptions ever) of the ANBU outside of the apartment, I would be gone by now. I remember the wave country from when Naruto, Sakura and I were all children, and I'm sure they may welcome me... but news travels fast, it's no secret I'm a traitor, no matter what way it was put.

When I finished cleaning the plate and utensils, I dried them and placed them within the draws/cupboards they belonged, before I wiped down the small counter with a damp cloth, a frown on my lips.

I returned home six months ago – has it really been that long? - as Naruto finally forced me back into this disgusting village, despite my hate for it. I guess I just made too many wrong moves in that fight, the Kyuubi got a bit too out of control and before I knew it both my legs were broken, Kusanagi was no where to be seen and I was half unconscious on his back, being dragged back to Konoha. It's still a kick to my pride to remember that, but at least back then Naruto gave a damn, now? ...I'm not so sure any more.

"I wonder if it's Sakura... or that Sai guy, they seem close..." I muttered to myself bitterly as I placed the cloth back on it's hook, slightly proud of my cleaning job as I finally returned to his, our, my lounge-room and sat on the love seat situated in the middle of two single recliner chairs. I mentally noted Naruto hasn't sat with me on the love seat for those two months, always on one of the recliners, where I can't sit with him.

Sometimes I wonder if I should've even let the idiot protest so vehemently for an easier punishment than execution as I lay down on the comfortable seat, ignoring the slowly growing need to cry as I let out a defeated sigh. Three more hours until comes home after training, since it's no longer important to come straight home after it any more. It used to be one and a half hours; who knows? Maybe he's finally began to believe all of the other villagers, that I'm nothing but a filthy traitor who should be treated like dirt.

I have my money on cheating though, he's too much of an idiot to join the crowd... isn't he?

"Probably that Sai guy... Sakura has no interest in him romantically, last time I checked..." I murmured to myself as my onyx orbs reflected nothing but pure pain and anguish in them – how could they reflect anything else? I was being treated like dirt by the one person I can't handle the treatment from... It's incredibly painful, and my heart contracts at the thought of it... the thought of the truth;

I love him, but he no longer loves me...

I let out a deep sigh as I look up at the goofy orange-themed calendar above the fireplace and noticed that tomorrow is my birthday... pleasant, I get to spend my seventeenth birthday feeling beyond shit... Sometimes I wish I could end it now, it'd be such fun to end my life right before my seventeenth birthday, so ironic... "And it's not like he'd care anyway..." I muttered to myself as I forced myself to sit up and look at the watch on my wrist. Two hours and fifty-five minutes, plenty of time, because he'd never care enough to come home early and I'm a traitor, I have no reason to be constantly with the future Hokage of this pathetic place... I'm sorry Itachi, my family, I will never truly get you revenge...

"Nothing would be a better birthday present than to join my family..." I murmured with a sad smile on my lips as I stood, heading towards our, my, his room and slowly opening the door, revealing our bed and the spotless place. I intend to mark it with my blood, though Naruto will just clean it up and celebrate my death with the rest of the village...

"That'd be alright... I'll consider my first ever birthday party, even though I'll never get to join them..." I muttered darkly as I finally felt tears slowly fall one by one from my pained onyx orbs... ah, looks like I can't hold it any more... just like everyday... and I hate routine.

With a painful, tear-ridden smile on my face, I slowly took one of the kunai from Naruto's supplies. I know he hates it when I use his ninja supplies, well, lately he has. All the more bitter-sweet, I supposed as I decided to take every sharp weapon from the draw. I took kunai, shuriken, wire, you name it, I emptied out the entire draw. I was an avenger, right? Revenge is my speciality, and this will be avenging my pain...

I shook my head lightly, my thoughts were getting quick, rushed, pained. I know I don't really want to die, but it's a must. A birthday present from the dobe who is no longer mine, despite the fact no one has said this, and from myself; I have missed my family dearly. They've waited an entire decade, give or take a few months. They don't deserve to wait any longer as I parade around with the idiot I love. I want to see my big brother again too, I owe him an apology, a really really long apology. After all, I murdered him and only found out later he was entirely innocent. I shattered my remaining family, for what? To end up like this? To be pained and broken over and over again everyday by someone I supposedly love? By someone who obviously hates me more than anyone else in the village?

I let out a heavy sigh as I place off the ninja weaponry in a small bag, taking it into the kitchen with me as I sat it on the ground with a light, metallic 'thunk'.

Before I can join my family, however, I want a little private birthday celebration of my own. I've never celebrated my birthday since the massacre, and I doubt tomorrow would've been any different. If anything, tomorrow would've doubled the normal pain of rejection. He knew tomorrow I turn 17, it's in bright red marker on that dorky calendar. He looks at it everyday with a plain look on his face and dead eyes – I should know, I pay attention to everything he does, that I can.

With a hollow smile on my lips, I begin to get out the ingredients I had Sakura buy me a week ago, all to make a cake, however I made the portions incredibly small as I got out the small muffin container-like bases. I'm unaware of what they're called, I never really cared, I don't eat sweets often.

By now a bitter scowl decorated my face as I shut off my mind from any more brooding, the tears long-since stopped as I placed the ingredients into the small mixing bowl and began to stir, only to stop as I noticed the bag of ninja tools from the corner of my eye... I guess I do like a challenge, I though with a hollow smirk on my lips as I opened the makeshift bag and pulled out a kunai with three prongs. I chuckled darkly at the irony of it.

Naruto cherished this kunai the most of all, since it happened to be the only thing left of his father, the forth Hokage, that he owned. 'And it will be the thing to kill me as well, won't that taste sweet?' I mused as I lifted the blade and stabbed it right through my right wrist, straight through to the other side with a silent scream of pain. Fuck that hurt, and it hurt a lot, but I just tore out the weapon and held the bleeding hand over the mix for a bit, letting it dye the pale liquid red as I returned to thoroughly stirring it with my uninjured hand, long-since forgetting about the blood stained kunai that lay on the bench beside the now pinkish-red cake mix as I poured it into the one little muffin-thing with a sigh and placed it one a tray, ignoring the alarming amount of my blood that seemed to get on everything as I shakily lowered it into the preheated oven. Two hours and twenty minutes, I'll be long gone by then... and thirty minutes for my little muffin, as the temperature is higher than I'd usually set it.

It's a race against the clock now, I mused as I slid myself down next to the over and cradled my bleeding wrist close, the thinly-burst artery slowly pumping blood from both side of the wound. I would've cut it the correct way, but I wanted to at least eat that little muffin of mine before I completely lost consciousness. It would prove that at least I was strong enough for that, to eat a measly, coppery, bloody muffin before I died. Happy day-before-birthday, Sasuke.

Time seemed to pass as my breathing became shallower, and the blue top I was wearing was dreadfully stained a dark red, my white shorts as well taking on the colour very clearly as I shakily, and clumsily opened the oven door and pulled out the tray, hissing as the heat singed my hand as I took the muffin and tossed the tray away. I was on the edge of drifting out of consciousness forever as I sloppily, and shakily brought the tained muffin to my lips and took a bite of it, revealing in the taste of vanilla mixed with the copper of the blood I mixed into the cake mix. A vanilla cake in a muffin-thing, I mused as I looked up at the clock. One hour and thirty minutes, odd... I must be slowing down in thinking from the wound. The stench of the blood around be, puddled beneath me makes me want to hurl, but I ignore it as I shakily take another bite of the bitter-sweet taste.

Truthfully, vanilla and blood taste rather horrible together, but it didn't matter, I beat time, I'm still alive to eat my muffin... I take another half-bite as I slowly slump into a lying position on the floor, losing my energy to keep sitting up as I lazily nibble at the muffin. I haven't even eaten a quarter of it, looks like time's beating me there... I really want to fall asleep now...

I suddenly heard the door unlock as my hazed onyx eyes darted as quickly as I could manage to the clock, before I frowned somewhat. He isn't supposed to be home for an hour and ten minutes... did he cut off his date with Sai early? Part of me feels smug with the motion, the other part, the stronger part, lets the tears flow from me eyes as I see the blurry image of blonde and orange walk into the kitchen, only to hear that voice I've missed scream my name and fall to his knees beside me. I smile... he doesn't love me, but he can still acknowledge me...

"Sasuke! What happened? What did you do?" The voice was mad... hm, probably didn't like the fact I used his favourite kunai to cause the wound... who cares... maybe Sakura does, but he doesn't...

"Stop the pain... no more pain... can't... stand it... any more..." I muttered loud enough from him to hear as I see him reach to push my hair behind my ear. I move away from him, from that hand. I don't want him to touch me, no with that hand. I don't want to be touched by what has touched someone I don't even know, I don't want to be touched by what hates me, pities me, I don't want to be touched by the one person who caused my pain...

I don't want to be touched in the way that caused me to long so badly I did this, I don't want this to all be for nothing.

"W- What are you talking about? What pain? You were perfectly happy, was it the villagers? Why would you do this to yourself?" The questions that flowed from his mouth almost seemed to jumble together as I chuckled hollowly. How could I be happy when all he does is treat me like dirt, like everyone else. No lifeline, no life...

"You... hate me... fuck off... let me die... in peace... it's the only... way... I can be free... of the pain... you cause me... cheater..." I breathed out sorrowfully as I blinked away the blur in my sight as much as possible, internally smug at the look of horror that crossed over his face. The look in his eyes... it looks like a deer caught in headlights... so I was right, fucking cheater... "Go back... to who... you... really give... a shit about... you pathetic... heart-breaking... jerk..."

"B- But Sasuke, I thought you wanted some space! I never thought you'd- Oh god, we need to get you to a hospital!" He said in alarm and worry as I narrowed my eyes, tears cascading down my face and onto the floor, as I finally slipped into slumber, hoping to whatever deity is up there (probably Itachi, since he deserves it, I thought with a sick humour I somehow got from this escapade of mine) that I never had to wake up and face reality, face Naruto, face the village, or face whoever-the-hell Naruto is fucking behind my back with, ever again.

Wanted some space, my ass...


End file.
